Happy People Make Me Sick
by Winter-Rae
Summary: Noah can’t help but notice all the types of relationships his friends are in. And to be honest, it makes him sick, but a few of them are about to help him get into a special one of his own. Pairings: Brigold, Ezzy, Gwyler, Deva, LeDunca, Noah/?


**Happy People Make Me Sick**

**Title:** Happy People Make Me Sick

**Summary:** Noah can't help but notice all the types of relationships his friends are in. And to be honest, it makes him sick, but a few of them are about to help him get into a special one of his own.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of course.

**Pairings:** Bridgette/Harold, Ezekiel/Izzy, Gwen/Tyler, DJ/Eva, LeShawna/Duncan and Noah/???

**Warnings:** Umm the usual.

**Winter-Rae:** A very happy birthday to my very special guy. That's right everyone, it is **The Kobold Necromancer's** birthday today! So, I suggest that after reading and reviewing this you all wish him a happy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I hope you like this! *hugs and kisses*

* * *

**Happy People Make Me Sick**

Noah sat alone, his face hidden behind his thick book. He wasn't really paying attention to the words before him as his eyebrow was twitching in annoyance ever so slightly. He was asked to come to a reunion of sorts that was supposed to be for all of the TDI competitors. So why then were they ten people short? How in the hell did they manage to get out of it while he, Noah, was stuck here with these _'couples'_ like some third wheel!

Oh that's right, he lost a bet. Gwen had bet him that they would get Eva to come and if they did he had to show up as well. Noah, thinking that Eva would rather drop dead than be stuck with them again, agreed to the bet. He found out an hour later that Eva was going to be there, but only because her boyfriend had begged her to come with him.

Eva's boyfriend? Why it was DJ.

Not that Noah cared, he wasn't jealous. Eva was more or less his friend so he was happy for her. He wasn't going to lie though; he had never seen that one coming. Noah had to admit, most of the couples that had formed during the duration of Total Drama he would have thought not possible.

For example, had you told him that Izzy and Ezekiel were going to end up together; he would have laughed in your face. And that went for Bridgette and Harold as well, not to mention Gwen and Tyler or better yet Duncan and LeShawna!

Noah shook his head in annoyance and then peeked over the edge of his book to gaze at the group.

Couple number 1: Bridgette and Harold. The two of them were talking quietly to each other, their foreheads touching ever so lightly, making his stomach churn. There was only one word that could describe their relationship. And that word was 'Cute."

Not that Noah enjoyed thinking about it in that light. But there was just no other word that would even come close. Everything those two did was 'cute,' no matter what! Noah couldn't even imagine what their sex life was like. Let's face it, no matter who you were you knew that sex was never cute, but with those two...it probably was.

As far as Noah was concerned the two of them had hardly anything in common, yet they complimented each other rather well. Bridgette was a beautiful, sweet and compassionate woman, there was no way around that and even Noah knew it. She had always been that way and probably always would be. She could charm even the crankiest person with her sweet smile and gentle persona. Harold on the other hand was an awkward, tell it like it is guy, who knew when it was time to drop manners and straighten someone out.

It wasn't a huge surprise when these two got together, especially after the horrible breakup Bridgette and Geoff went though. Harold was there to pick up the pieces of Bridgette's broken heart and was carefully helping her put them back together again.

Couple number 2: Eva and DJ. They sat close together, near the end of the dining table. Eva had her arm wrapped around her boyfriend, pulling him close and sending looks of death to anyone who would dare to stare at DJ too long. If there was one word to describe these two it would have to be 'Protective.'

Why? Well in Noah's mind DJ was the most naive person on the entire planet, the guy wouldn't know a flirting floozy if she danced in front of him stark naked. He could easily get pulled into things to hard for him that would leave him hurt and lonely in the end. He had fangirls chasing him all the time, and wouldn't you know it, that's actually what helped these two get together.

With one look into his pleading eyes Eva had been convinced to chase off the harpies, and the rest as they say is history.

Noah was actually shocked at how much these two complimented one another. Eva was actually smarter than a lot of people gave her credit for. She and DJ could spend hours discussing the latest worldly events while having a good game of one on one.

While their relationship seemed to a lot of people to be one sided, in that people thought Eva was threatening DJ to stay with her, it wasn't like that at all. DJ was completely devoted to Eva and loved her like no other and also wouldn't hear anything negative said about her.

Even though Noah had no desire to know, he was told that the sex was amazing. It was powerful and demanding.

Indeed, some things were better left unsaid. Damn that Izzy and her need to know about everyone's sex lives and then share it with people who didn't want to know.

Couple number 3: Gwen and Tyler. Now there was a couple he never, ever thought that he would see in a million years; a goth and a jock. Right now Gwen had her hand on Tyler's leg, smiling as the jock spoke into her ear, his arm around her waist. Tyler then squeezed Gwen's side, making her squirm and nearly giggle.

Noah scoffed and shook his head, it was better than the alternative of his jaw dropping in shock.

Oddly enough the best word to describe this relationship was 'Spiritual.' The two of them had some sort of a bond that couldn't be described; Noah was actually starting to believe in the possibility of soul mates when he saw these two. They seemed to know exactly what the other was thinking. They gave each other strength and calmed the other when needed. However, sometimes words were not needed. One look between them could say a thousand words.

Noah remembered the one time Tyler had cut his hand while helping cook and Gwen appeared out of nowhere with a first aid kit in her hands. Then the time that Gwen was getting hassled by Courtney over something that happened way back during TDA; it was Tyler's turn to appear out of nowhere and proceed to rip Courtney a new one. Noah had seen it, and it was hilarious.

They didn't brag and again, Noah didn't want to know but again thanks to Izzy, he was told that sex was something the two of them treasured. It was a private display, shared between two like-minded people who believed that making love was sacred. It wasn't something to do, it was something to enjoy. The love they made was never rushed or timed; it was almost like a sacred ritual. There was no goal, nothing to achieve. The two of them simply enjoyed the feel of having each other in their arms.

Or something like that. As he said before, he didn't want to know.

As for how they got together, it was during TDA after her break up with Trent. Tyler had been there for her countless times and she felt like something beautiful and worthy of love when she was with him. From what he heard they were each other's firsts and were planning to be each other's only.

If Noah was a sap he would have considered that to be beautiful, too bad he wasn't and never would be.

Couple number 4: Izzy and Ezekiel. Now there was a couple that held nothing back. At this moment for example Izzy and Ezekiel were sitting at the far end of the table were Izzy was necking her shy Prairie lover. Ezekiel had his eyes closed, his neck outstretched and tilted to the side. The one and only word to describe this relationship would be 'Passionate,' hands down.

Noah scoffed again, those two seriously needed to get a damn room.

Ezekiel had gone from a shy and awkward homeschooled teen to an open and outgoing thrill seeker, much to Izzy's delight. She had corrupted him well.

The two of them got together during Total Drama Musical. Again, Courtney had been blaming him for losing the contest for them when Izzy heard the yelling and came to investigate.

A typical Hollywood romance story Noah thought in annoyance. Hero saves the damsel (who happened to be a guy) in distress. The damsel falls for the hero and they lived happily ever after.

Noah smothered a snort, if he had a dime for every time he heard that plot line.

"Now what are you doing there all by your lonesome bookworm?" came a taunting voice.

"Nothing," Noah muttered, going back to his book so he could try and ignore the only other person who wasn't with their lover.

But that was only because she wasn't here yet.

Couple Number 5: LeShawna and Duncan. If there was one word to describe their relationship, it was 'Unpredictable.' No word of a lie, one minute these two would be at each other's throats and the next they'd be down each other's throats. Talk about kiss and make up.

Noah shuddered. There was even a rumour that these two joined the mile high club, six times.

As for their sex life, everyone probably knew all about it since they had absolutely no shame. None. Not a drop. They'd jump each other anytime, anywhere.

According to Noah, Duncan and LeShawna were scary. He wasn't exactly sure how they got together and he was positive that he didn't want to know. Although he did hear Gwen mutter something about them taking play fighting to a whole new level.

Would the mental images ever stop?

"What's with that face?" Duncan asked him, "Oh wait a minute, I think I know."

Noah winced, fearing what the punk would say.

"It's because you don't have a girlfriend of your own, isn't it?"

"Like hell it is!" Noah snapped. He then inwardly cursed. That was actually just what his problem was. But just because he was slightly jealous of the others didn't mean he wanted it broadcasted to the whole world.

"Go away Duncan," Noah growled.

"Tell you what," Duncan mused, "I dare you to ask out the next person who walks through that door, but if it's LeShawna forget it."

"What if it's Cody?" Izzy chirped un-sticking her lips from Ezekiel's neck, she then started to giggle.

"Shut it Izzy!" Noah growled, "And no, I'm not doing it."

"Oh come on Noah," Bridgette said, "I think that's a great idea! It's not good for you to be so alone. You need a nice girl in your life."

"You're so smart Bridge," Harold said to her, making her blush.

"Thanks sweetie."

Noah inwardly gagged as the others all stared at him.

"No!"

Izzy however, was now as into this mission of hooking him up as Duncan was. She turned her attention to the door.

"Oohh, the suspense is killing me!" she said.

"We could always make out to pass the time eh," Ezekiel suggested. Izzy laughed.

"Wonderful idea my Zeke!"

And without another word they became glued at the lips while Duncan snickered.

"Let's see who the lucky girl is..."

* * *

LeShawna walked quickly through the streets, towards the hotel, in a hurry to see her boyfriend.

"LeShawna!" came a voice from behind her, "Wait for me please."

LeShawna slowed her pace so her companion could catch up with her. She watched as the girl placed her hand on her arm, trying to catch her breath.

"Sorry," she said, "I'm just wondering what Duncan has gotten himself into. I swear I can't leave him alone for more than five minutes."

"Oh, I see," the girl puffed as she finished catching her breath and straightened up, "You and Duncan, never saw that one coming."

LeShawna smirked.

"To be honest, neither did I."

She then turned on her heel and began walking again, but this time a little slower so her friend could keep up. After a few moments of silence they reached the door to the hotel. They were headed to the restaurant of the place, where she was told the reunion was. When Duncan had found out that she was bringing her friend along, he had called her ahead of time and told her that he had an idea. As for what her lover had planned she wasn't sure.

"After you hon," LeShawna said, pointing to the door.

* * *

"Let's see who the lucky girl is..."

A second of silence passed as everyone turned their attention to the door. They held their breath as the door slowly, painfully slow, slipped open.

It was as though things were moving in slow motion. A few breathtaking seconds later the door opened to reveal a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty.

"Lindsey!"

Lindsey arched an eyebrow and turned to LeShawna.

"Why is everyone staring at me? Is this a surprise party? If so they weren't very good at the surprise part."

LeShawna entered behind her.

"LeShawna!"

That was the only warning she got before she was attacked by her punk boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and grinned. Duncan smiled down at her and lowered his head, crashing their lips together.

After a few heated caresses they parted and Duncan sent Lindsey a sadistic grin.

"Lindsey," he said, "Noah has something to ask you."

Lindsey cocked her head to the side, but then turned her attention to the bookworm who was still sitting at the back of the room. Only now he was trying to hide behind his book. She blinked at him and waited to hear what he had to say.

"No," Noah muttered.

"What Noah is trying to say..." Izzy started.

"Shut up Izzy!"

"Is that he likes you a lot and wonders if you'd like to go out with him," Gwen finished for her, smirking at Noah.

Noah lunged at Gwen, only to have Tyler hold him back.

"Your very future depends on your next movements," he told him, "You realize that if you hurt Gwen I have every right to hurt you right?"

"Like I'd hurt her anyway," Noah snapped, "What do you think I am?"

He then shoved Tyler away; his face was nearly as red as the jock's track suit. Tyler shrugged and went back to his lover, who snuggled into his arms, looking very content.

Lindsey giggled at the goings on, and then she tilted her head and smiled.

"I'd love to Noah."

Noah stopped glaring at his 'so-called' friends to look bewildered at the beautiful blonde.

"What?"

"I said, I'd love to."

A silence filled the room as Noah looked as though he was in shock. The others all snickered.

"Well," Ezekiel said, still wrapped in Izzy's arms, "What are you waiting for eh?"

Noah opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. He watched as Lindsey crossed the room, grabbed his hand and started to drag him out.

"See you later everyone!" she called over her shoulder.

Izzy looked over at Duncan.

"Since when are you a match-maker?" she asked.

"I was wondering the same thing," LeShawna mused. Duncan shrugged with a smirk still on his face.

"What can I say," he mused as he pulled LeShawna close to him, "I like being unpredictable."

* * *

'Those douchebags!' Noah fumed silently in his head, 'I bet they had this planned all along!'

The two of them walked in silence; as Noah was too busy ranting and raving in his head and Lindsey was too busy looking at all of the clothes through the windows of the little boutiques they passed by.

'I'll get them for this!' he went on to himself, 'I swear they'll regret this!'

Noah was too busy fuming and planning ways to get his revenge that he didn't notice Lindsey staring at him.

Lindsey watched the bookworm, his eyes holding a fierce flame and his face like thunder that was vowing revenge. All in all, aside from that, she found Noah to be very cute. His stubborn demeanour and annoyance with the others gave him an almost childlike quality that she found irresistible. She just wished he would let it go and talk to her for a moment about what he was thinking, aside from the obvious.

She took the situation into her own hands, literally, and slowly slipped her hand into his. Noah paused in his walking and glanced at it. He pulled away from her.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. Lindsey felt slightly hurt but stood her ground.

"What do you think I'm doing?" she asked him.

"Look, the only reason we're out together now it because Duncan tricked me," he said, trying to ignore the heat in his face as he tried to not look interested in the blonde.

"Oh," she said, "So you don't like me then?"

Noah was about to shoot back a resounding no, but the words died on his lips when he looked at her. She wasn't crying but there was a hurt look on her face.

"It has nothing to do with that!" he stammered.

"I think it does," she said, "You either like me or you don't."

"I-I, I like you just fine Lindsey," he said.

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is that I seriously doubt you feel the same and you're just out with me now to humour the others and be a part of their little prank."

Lindsey gasped and looked insulted.

"I would never do that Noah," she said, "Love is very important, I take matters of the heart very seriously. Hello, I helped Justin hook up with Beth didn't I? Not to mention Cody and Heather, they would never have gotten together if I didn't take it very seriously and help them."

"Well good for you Lindsey, you're a top notch matchmaker," he said while rolling his eyes.

"Thank you," she replied, not catching his sarcasm.

"That still doesn't explain why you're here with me now."

"Sure it does, the matchmaker deserves love too doesn't she?"

"What?"

"Noah, I do like you," she said, "It's just hard to impress you because you're so smart and I'm...well not that smart."

Noah frowned.

"Who told you that you weren't smart?" Noah asked.

"Lots of people; Courtney, Heather, Justin, and before we were friends Gwen and LeShawna...umm some of my teachers," she listed. The bookworm shook his head.

"Well it's not true," he said, "I don't know anyone who knows more about makeup, fashion, and skin care products than you do. I've heard you talk about how tomato juice is good for the skin. I didn't even know any of that."

"Aww, thanks Noah," the pretty blonde said hugging him tightly. Noah flushed madly as his face managed to end up right against Lindsey's breasts.

"Lindsey," he said, "My face isn't exactly in a proper place."

Lindsey giggled and released him.

"Oops sorry, they do have a habit of getting in the way don't they?"

She then opted to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Noah, I really want to be on this date with you."

Noah didn't realize how close they were to each other until Lindsey's head came down to claim his lips in an incredibly hot and passionate kiss. All thoughts and distractions were driven from his mind as he gave into the kiss and pulled her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him, losing herself in the kiss. Noah gave as much as she did, not totally realizing what he was doing, he was acting on impulse.

Slowly and surely the kiss was broken and Lindsey's head reeled back as she took a deep breath to get her heart rate back to normal. She had no idea that Noah was such a good kisser.

"You've been holding out Noah," she whispered.

"Not really, just going with it."

"So what now?" she asked him.

"It's getting a little chilly," he said and she nodded in agreement.

"Let's go back to the hotel then," she said with a playful gleam in her eyes.

* * *

Noah sat with his back against the headboard of the bed. He looked down at Lindsey. She was sleeping next to him, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head against his chest. A soft smile played on her slightly swollen lips. They had spent the entire night making out after their talk. These sessions were long and drawn out, in fact one could say they were hot.

He ran his fingers through her soft hair and with his other hand he traced up her arm to her chin and then touched her cheek. Lindsey stirred and opened her blue eyes to look up at him.

"Mmm, what time is it?" she asked.

"Early," he said, "We've been here all night."

"All night?" she asked, getting up and looking at the window. Sure enough the sun was starting to come up. She heaved a happy sigh and let herself fall back into bed next to him. Noah grinned and turned on his side to face her. She took his hand and brought it to her lips.

"This was the best night of my life," she whispered.

"Really?" Noah asked, "A pretty girl like you stuck with a cynical bookworm like me? And that was good?"

"Don't put yourself down," she said, "You're wonderful and I like being with you."

"I don't see how you can think that," he said, "I've never been that nice to people."

"Neither had Heather, and she got her second chance, so why not you too?"

"Hmm, I suppose."

"You know I'm right," she teased, poking his side. Noah winced and moved away. A large smile broke out onto Lindsey's face.

"Noah! You're ticklish aren't you?"

"No."

"You are," she giggled and poked him again; "I've never had a boyfriend who was ticklish before."

"My sister loves to tickle me," he mused.

"Oh really? Wait a minute, I heard you had a lot of brothers and sisters, is that true?"

"Yeah, nine all together."

"Oh no!" Lindsey said.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"How am I going to remember all of those names when I meet your family?"

The pretty blonde looked so distressed that Noah couldn't help but laugh.

"I guess I probably shouldn't mention that there is two sets of twins either right?"

Lindsey gasped.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"Yep, I have a twin sister and then there is another set of twin girls."

"You have a twin?"

Noah nodded. Lindsey looked very interesed in this. She propped herself up on her elbows.

"Tell me about her please."

* * *

"They aren't back yet," Ezekiel said, speaking into the phone. He sighed and glanced over at Izzy who was sitting in bed, waiting for him to return. On the other end of the line a yawn broke out.

"I'm sure they're fine, Zeke."

"Look I'm sorry to call you so early, Tyler," Ezekiel sighed again. "But I'm worried; you know how Noah can be. He's a pretty stubborn guy when he wants to be eh."

"I know that all too well," Tyler said as he unsuccessfully tried to smother another yawn, "But he isn't alone, he has Lindsey with him and if I know her, she won't let him out of her sight."

"I guess you're right," Ezekiel sighed again.

"Gwen," Tyler suddenly said, "I'm on the phone."

He suddenly let out a soft bout of laughter.

"Stop it!"

Ezekiel smiled.

"I don't know if you can hear me, Tyler. But I'm going to hang up so I'll leave you to Gwen's mercy eh."

He snickered.

"Right, ring me when they get back, later," Tyler managed to say between gasps and then the phone was cut off abruptly.

Ezekiel snickered again and placed the phone back in the cradle.

"Any luck?" Izzy asked.

"None at all."

"Don't worry about them my Zeke," she purred, "Just come back to bed and keep me warm. I bet they are doing the same thing anyway."

Ezekiel grinned.

"Lucky Noah."

Izzy pouted.

"Are you saying you'd rather be with Lindsey and her girls than with me?"

Ezekiel laughed and quickly got into bed next to her.

"No way eh."

* * *

Duncan, Harold and Bridgette, who were in the sitting area of the hotel, enjoying some breakfast looked up when they saw both Lindsey and Noah enter the room.

"Noah! Lindsey!" Bridgette said, running to them and hugging them both.

"Where were you?" Harold asked.

"What happened?" the cute couple asked in unison.

Noah said nothing, he walked straight past them and grabbed up a cup of coffee. Bridgette turned to Lindsey, hoping that she would explain.

"We were okay," she said, "I promise. We just spent a lot of time...umm talking."

The pretty blonde then smiled and went to join the bookworm. Harold and Bridgette exchanged looks.

"Things went well then?" Duncan asked.

Noah turned a tired gaze to the punk and raised an eyebrow.

Duncan continued to smirk and then merely pointed to his neck then pointed at Noah. Noah's eyes widen a fraction, his hand automatically going to his neck. He mentally cursed and Lindsey giggled.

"I told you it was gonna leave a mark," he told her.

"Oops," she said innocently. Noah sighed and then shrugged. Oh well, no point hiding anything.

"Fine Duncan," he said, "Lindsey and I are together now. Happy?"

"Completely," the punk replied, "Now LeShawna won't be so concerned about you dying old and alone."

"And why does she care?"

"LeShawna hates seeing people alone, she'll be so happy I fixed you two up, she so owes me now"

"Ah so you did have ulterior motives then."

"Of course."

Noah rolled his eyes.

"Nice, just make sure I don't happen upon you when you decide to make her pay up."

Duncan snickered.

"You got it."

The punk waved and then left. Harold and Bridgette weren't too far behind after that, leaving Noah and Lindsey on their own. While Lindsey munched on some breakfast Noah's mind drifted back to the previous night, to his musings about the others and their types of relationships.

Harold and Bridgette had a cute, very cute, relationship, one that would last as long as they kept everything light and carefree.

Eva and DJ had a strong, protective relationship, and if it was to last Eva had to continue protecting DJ, but not overly so, that would just hold him down. And DJ hated being held back from what he wants to do.

Tyler and Gwen had a very spiritual relationship. That one was bound to last, no two ways about that. The worrisome times would only strengthen the bond between them, and their love would continue to grow as long as they kept their hearts and minds open to each other.

Izzy and Ezekiel had a very passionate relationship, one that would last as long as the fires kept burning. And it was certain that they would have no trouble there.

Duncan and LeShawna had a very unpredictable relationship. No one knows what's going to happen next, they don't even know. These two, funnily enough, will last as long as things remain a mystery. That shouldn't be hard since Duncan is the sneakiest person anyone has ever known.

And now there was he and Lindsey. He wasn't sure what one word could be used to describe their relationship, and yes there was one. It wasn't just one night of fun between them. Lindsey made sure that was known when she asked him to tell her everything about his family.

Noah sighed.

"What's wrong Noah?" Lindsey asked him. Noah flushed and shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied. Lindsey cocked her head to the side and then placed her hand on his forehead.

"You're not getting sick are you?" she asked and she then placed her lips against his forehead, "You're very warm."

Noah didn't reply but felt his blush deepen. He felt Lindsey smile against his skin but continued her flittering caresses. His eyes slowly slid shut as he felt Lindsey place her lips on his once again.

Noah's mind went back once again to his previous thoughts on relationships.

So far they had Cute, Protective, Spiritual, Passionate and Unpredictable. Now he can finally categorize his type of relationship. It might be short and it has probably been used to describe a lot of different relationships but there is only one word that could be used to describe this one.

In one word his and Lindsey's relationship was 'Hot'.

Hands down.

* * *

**Winter-Rae:** Oh that was fun! Kobold, I hope you liked it! Have a great day! Thanks for reading everyone! Much love and cheers!


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